Refining Love

“Disarray all of the pieces I had all arranged. Right here let love blaze fearless in the wonder of the wait.”

“Going through the motions doesn’t please you, a flawless performance is nothing to you. I learned God-worship when my pride was shattered. Heart-shattered lives ready for love don’t for a moment escape God’s notice.” – Psalm 51:16-17 (Message Translation)

THE HURT

Refining Love began in a season of intense disappointment and confusion. Several years ago, I faced a sudden change of plans which left me feeling devastated, confused, and deeply hurt. What happens when we feel like we are following God’s will, and things collapse on us? How do we entrust God with our hearts when what seemed like His plan ends up in brokenness? How could His plan be to break my heart? Well, that was and is EXACTLY His plan. God is after our WHOLE hearts. He does not want cheap replicas, performances, or even our sacrifices, He wants our hearts fully. He wants us to experience real love that weathers the fire. Hurts like these burn away all comforts. They challenge us to venture into a deeper place of worship as we search for meaning, comfort, and hope.

THE HEALING

Jostled plans have a way of testing our faith while bringing our hearts to a very raw place. They present opportunity for growth and healing as we bring ourselves and our questions to the altar. Rather than trying to manifest a false strength, I prayed honestly in my brokenness, "Where do I go from here? Everything in me wants to close up shop, shut my heart up, build some more walls, and run away from Jesus. Did I hear You wrong? Did I do something wrong?" Jesus' answer was and is simple, "I love you." Did you hear that? Let me remind you again, Jesus' greatest answer to our pain is, "I love you." Those three words from Him are life, healing, and ALL we need. Let them burn. We think we need to know it all but knowledge and wisdom will never satisfy us, only His presence.

THE GOOD NEWS

I wish I could say letting Him burn through gets easier, but it does not. I still fight to raise my hands and offer up my whole self to the letting go, but surrendering to His fullness never ceases to amaze me. The more I choose it, the more I realize God never disappoints. Man fails us, but God will not. His hope does not tire or fail. Disappointments are actually an act of His sweet grace, leading us into valleys so that we can hear His love for us, and learn the depths of His heart for us. It is in our darkest disappointments that he grows a deep hope within us. This is what He did for me... I had never written a song before but my disappointment disarrayed every plan in order to start new and search out with my whole heart. What I discovered was greater purpose and passion within me that needed to be unleashed. What I discovered was that before I was even born, He had placed an inclination and gift of songwriting within me. No one taught me to song-write, I just gravitated towards it in my despair. More importantly, I discovered an intimacy with Christ like never before.

I am still human and I still face disappointment and it still hurts. The difference here is simply a deeper resolve to surrender and draw close no matter how uncomfortable, painful, or humiliating that may look like. My favorite pastor, Mikey Littau, says, "Conflict is the gateway to intimacy". When conflicts arise with God and when trust feels compromised, will we open up and press through the pain, or cover up and avoid? I still have many walls and roots of pride that have embedded themselves into my heart. We ALL do, it's called being human. It is within the refining fires that we learn to draw CLOSE, FEEL deep, and LIVE filled by His unending love. I pray this song stirs you to bravely follow into the unknown, casting all comfort to the fire, taking greater leaps of faith, and receiving the goodness and joy of God’s presence!

Passages for further reference:

Hosea 2:14-16

James 1:2-4

Romans 5:1-5

Malachi 3:3

Jeremiah 29:11

Romans 8:18-39

Daniel 3

Big shout out to great friend and musician, Nathan Hoover, who added His musical expertise to add a powerful lift to this song! Refining Love would not be what it is without Nathan! GO HOOVER!

Refining Love written by Hope Wentz and Nathan Hoover

Verse 1:

Enthralled by your affections, boundless as the sky

This romance sheer perfection, this passion so divine

Eyes fixed upon your beauty, feet treading the unknown

Heart melting in your glory, I’m found here as Your own.

Pre-Chorus:

Captured by the winds of your sweet Spirit

Sweep me through the mystery

I can feel it- rush in, move and turn, blow through my soul

You cannot be contained, so through me overflow!

Chorus:

Burn through every part of me, I am all Yours

I lay upon the altar, refine me to the core

Burn through every part of me, I am all Yours

I lay upon the altar, refine me to the core

Verse 2:

I’m up for the adventure, I’m all in for the ride

Your presence now my treasure, You never leave my side

Disarray all of the pieces I had all arranged

Right here let love blaze fearless, in the wonder of the wait